Just for Fun

here is another "Just for Fun"

Where is your Serene place or happy place that you go to in your mind?

mine is the Napali Cliffs in Kawi an island in Hawaii. the beach at the end of the 12 mile hike with without a doubt my screen place. i remember floating on a broken surf board in the water under the warm sun. i was 14. it was so peaceful. whenever i remember that time a peaceful feeling takes over and i feel blessed.

Just for Fun

so i want to start a "Just for Fun"

If you were forces to eat the same breakfast everyday for the rest of your life what would it be?

me, i would say Greek yogurt, cantaloupe, a package of weight smart brown sugar oatmeal. (i don't know if this is me thinking practically though. because i really do love my original homemake pancake recipe with strawberries and yogurt on top. i think that might have to be my favorite oh and just a little bit of syrup)

I had to work this AM at the nursing home (as an occupational therapist). it was nice today though because my mom was also working there. we got to spend a little quality time together. and yes i did end up following in my mother's footsteps, haha but oh well.
i was exhausted this AM. i could jsut not get going. at 7:00 i had 6oz greek yogurt, one moo magic milk mix, 14 oz blueberries with waaaaayyyy too much cinnamon. oops., 1 cup of wheat bran and some stivia all mixed together!
at 10:15 i had a bag consisting of one large green pepper, some carrots, and some cottage cheese. i also had a baby lime. it was from a fruit basket at work. it was really good. and so cute. i ate it like an apple.
snack today was a very nice destressor break! i just went into the break room and didn't let anything disturb me.

lunch i had at 12:15. i went outside with my mom and one other coworker. it was funny because it was rainy all day, except for lunch. lunch was sunny. it was such a blessing. it definitely made me smile.
my lunch today was so much fun to eat. i know i know i seem to be getting into a rut. you will never guess what i had......1c egg whites, zuchini, broccoli, black bean pasta, soy scauce, all rolled up in grape leaves (that i steamed). when i got inside after lunch i grabbed a peach from the fruit bowl that someone brought in. it was so juicy. i has so much fun eating it. it definitely wasn't date food!!! i had it dripping down my elbows!!! my mom was making fun of me and i think my co-worker was jsut weirded out! (sorry i go all the way outside for luch and had forgot my camera. i didn't feel like going back in to get it.)

after my consoling appointment this afternoon my mom and i went to trader joes quickly. they had the most delicious sample of pear dressing. it was so good that i had to buy some!! i also got some feta cheese and ak-mak crackers.
consoling this afternoon was sooo good. i'm really excited about this guy. this was only my second time going to him. he also does hypnosis. he did the most amazing relaxation at the end, i was pretty much a zombie! he is really getting me to think about my feelings. i have a lot of trouble experiencing uncomfortable feelings and i doesn't really know hoe to let them out.

anyways for dinner we made Mexican. it was just my mom and i. i had 1 spinach tortilla with 1/2 can tuna. parm cheese. i can dices tomatoes with garlic, 1 green pepper, grated carrot, fresh spinach. i think that is all. i love Mexican! ohhhh i tried to put some salsa on it. however the salsa was VERRY rotten!!!!! i always go to my parents house to find the rotten food! why....ALWAYS haha
and this is a picture of my new 7 month old puppy Jackson!!!! and my mother's arm. : )


and while blogging tonight - and bronzing at other people's blogs - i sipped on a cup of sleepytime tea with 1 Splenda (i know i shouldn't be having artificial sweeteners, but it is really good and i try to limit myself.)

so i made myself get back on track tonight for dinner. Right before dinner i bought a camera at WalMart. (i was using my dads camera before and he needed it back - so i splurged). so i enjoyed last nights dinner so much i made it again. i didn't take a picture because my camera was charging and it looked the same as last night. the only difference was that we ran out of seaweed wraps (darn!!!) i really want to get some more. so i just used grape leaves picked fresh from outside!!! yum.
it is always so hard to get back on track with the next meal. I'm glad that tomorrow is a new day. i read some inspirational quotes tonight and they really got me ready for success. success is all in how you look at it! : ) have a really night night everyone. and i just wanted to say THANK YOU for your support and interest in me and my blog. it means soooooo much!!

Hello everyone! ok so today has probably been one of the worst days for me ever! most likely my ROCK BOTTOM. (i really hate saying that though because i feel like someone always has it worse off than i do) i have a hard time admitting to myself that it is ok to feel bad some days and need to rest, and make mistakes! i am SOOOO hard on myself. i hate that i cannot forgive myself!
this morning i woke up, took the dog outside (for him to decide not to pee - but to pee once we got back into the house haha) i decided (at 7:10) to start my breakfast off with a nectarine. then i wanted to dip it in some yogurt - so i measured out one cup full. then i decided i needed a grain and fat so i poured a cup of wheat bran and a large spoonful of white chocolate PB. it was all going fine and dandy until i decided to have a banana too, then another with more PB then some crackers with PB and Jelly. then i wanted another flavor of PB. i ended up eating 2 jars. a box of crackers. 5 packages of nature Vally granola bars. about 25 orios. 1/2 bag of soy chips. a jar of jelly. 1/2 container of yogurt. a million cinnamon almonds. 6 slices of toast with butter. i don't even remember what else. but i decided to purge : ( i'm so mad at myself) i can't believe i let myself go back to doing that. (i could list off a million reasons why i or anyone shouldn't be doing that) but i did. and I'm having trouble forgiving myself for it. it is funny though. i didn't let myself binge on my nice foods, expensive foods (ex. Greek yogurt, new apple cinnamon cookies). i decided NO. the only reason i stopped eating was because i ran out of stuff to eat. i am happy to say not that i have no more food in the house to binge on. or that i would bother binging on. i really need to develop an action plan for myself though. it is hard because i know how to eat. i could council anyone on how to eat healthfully. but with myself i just can't seem to do it correctly. i turn to food as my only coping method.
so my mom came over after work at about 1:45 and we are going to try to develop an action plan- if i can think rationally. argh! i keep letting myself over eat because i know i am slightly underweight and use it as an excuse. or a quick fix to be back to normal. the only way i can be back to normal would be to distress myself. my body goes into crazy mode when i am stressed and my body just eats itself. i loose my muscle and look like shit (even though i don't change anything about what i am eating) i also haven't really been exercising lately. i did go to the gym Monday night and it felt AMAZING!!! i need to make more time to go. anyways I'll stop rambling now. i hope you all have a nice day.

I had dinner at my parents house (but we all kind of made our own thing than ate together). I made "sushi." I used 1 whole zuchini, 6 egg whites, 1c wheat bran, soy sauce, seaweed wraps, grape leaves. i cooked the mix in a frying pan then wrapped the mix in the seaweed and grape leaves. very very delicious!!! after dinner i had some ice cream (haven't had ice cream in forever-unless i was binging on it) i really wanted to just enjoy some in a "normal" reasonable quantity. (it didn't go quite how i had planned). i ended up eating most of the 1/2 gallon. I had Edy's Slow Churned chocolate chip - even though i don't like chocolate chips. i tried to pick around them. i ended up eating most of them anyways because it is impossible to pick around them. I don't know why i couldn't stop, i just kept going back for more. oh well i will use this as a learning experience. so for dessert i ate 90% of a half gallon Chocolate Chip ice cream. i can only improve for next time and not get down on myself in the process. : )
P.S. this isn't the ice cream that i ate - but i forgot to take a picture in my haste and compulsion.

for snack this afternoon (in the car) at 3:45 i had 1/4 c cottage cheese, 2T wheat bran, lemon and lime juice, 1/2 a cucumber.
i went to Whole foods on the way home and there were samples everywhere (as always!). i had about 4 strawberries, i could eat a million strawberries. i also bought a new snack and i am really glad i did, it was AMAZING. i recommend everyone buy this snack. i hope i don't end up binging on them. they were a little expensive though. i think buying "nice" healthy food may help prevent binges because i won't want to waste my money. i also am trying this new thing where i make myself have something slightly "junk" or completely jumk like fluff (haha) everyday so that i become more comfortable with, what my brain refers to as, "junk" food. then not have to eat lunch LARGE quantities of it at one time. so this was my "not the most low calorie, healthy thing possible" food choice for the day. and i really really enjoyed it : ) i had to apple cinnamon flavor.

i can't wait until i am done with my summer job and back to working in the public school. i enjoy that so much more!! next summer i am going to look for a nanny job insead, maybe for the special needs population (since i have a lot of experience working with them).
i forgot to take the picture before i started eating. (haha oh well you get the idea). i had lunch today at 12:20 ish. i ate in my car (with all the crappy dynamics going on at work i just needed to get away and clear my head. it was actually quite nice). i had 2 oz Black Soy bean pasta, 3c raw summer squash (then it shrunk a lot once i microwaved it), 3 oz turkey deli meat, 2T garlic sauce, 1T parm cheese. it didn't look like a lot of food but it was actually quite satisfying.
i need to figure out how to set up this blog a little better. i would like to devote it to the whole mind, body, and spirit connection. i want to add neat tid-bits and quotes. i just need some free time on this thing to set it all up. again-PLEASE HANG IN THERE WHILE I GET IT UP AND RUNNING. i swear it won't be as boring as it currently is.

Snack will be at 10:00 i plan to have 1 cup of cut up tomatoes, 1/4 c cottage cheese with garlic pickled in olive oil and some spices.

Breakfast at work. 1 Kim's cinnamon bagel with 1T honey soy nut butter and jelly. 6 oz plain low fat, not no fat, yogurt. ( i prefer the Greek yogurt but i had some of the regular stuff in the ref that needed to be used. i hate letting food go bad.) 2 nectarines, cinnamon, 3 vanilla + brn sugar almonds (blue diamond makes these i just wanted to give them a try, quite tasty).